I’ve never truly been ready for anything. I thought I was. Then faced with the reality – I wasn’t. There was only one thing that I wanted to be in life. That was to be a mother. Which I achieved – twice. I relished every moment but was not prepared for all the emoticons that would come with the title. It was not like I hadn’t tried to educate myself. I have a bachelor’s in education. I taught grade school and middle school children over my career. Then came the day that my husband and I brought a baby home. Sleep deprivation takes over. Frustration set in. And reality looks nothing like the dream. I remember looking down at my infant son trying to imagine who he would become. What would his profession be? Who would he marry? What problems will he face? What subjects will he like? There was so much I didn’t know about this person I was raising. I was thinking it would be so much easier if I knew who he was going to be. I should have been concentrating on who he already was
Along comes son number two. I thought, I got this. I read all the books and know what to expect and how to parent. After all I had been through it once. But our second son was nothing like our first. Time sped up. They kept growing! They were losing teeth. Going to kindergarten. Graduating High school. Going to college. Getting married! I’M NOT READY! The one thing that I wanted to be was done – or so I thought.
You’re going to be a grandparent!”
I was just getting the hang of being a mother-in-law. Now grandmother! I”M NOT READY!
I knew that I was of age. Many of my friends had become grandparents. They were so excited. Said it was just the best. Always sharing pictures and bragging how cute and smart their grandchildren were. All the fun without the work, they said. Other Friends couldn’t wait to be grandparents. But their children were not cooperating. I, on the other hand, just hadn’t given it much thought. Then came the phone call. Our first granddaughter had arrived.
“I’m so afraid I’m going to screw this up.”
“You will. We all do. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You don’t know who you’re raising. Just be sure that when you are at your worst, feeling tired and frustrated you hug her even more.”
I got off the phone. Grandparent! I’m ready!